What Mother’s Day Means for Me
When I decided to become a Mother it turned out for me it wasn’t something that I could just decide. The Fertility at one point asked me if I had a sister who would be willing to donate her eggs. In the end, he tried one more thing and I ended up with twins and my third came naturally.
Once I had the twins, It hit me one day, this job is forever, and I was overwhelmed with the responsibility! I wanted to do everything perfect! Then….Will was found struggling to breath in his crib! We rushed him to the hospital where is was placed in a drugged induced coma and on a vent. At this time I was also pregnant with the my 3rd child!
I just couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening and facing the possible death of my child. I am thankful beyond description that he lived, but he is a different child physically. He relies on me for all his needs to be met, feeding through a g-tube, bathing, diaper changes, movement, and for stimulation.
I often am told how strong I am and that others couldn’t handle my situation, and maybe that is true for some, but my guess is that the majority of you would do the same thing I am doing and possibly even better. I do my best to provide him with therapy and alternative healing modalities, but there is always more I could be doing and I still unfortunately and working through my grief and anger around what happened to my son, Will.
What I have learned, Will loves me, I am doing the best I can, and when I realize I can do more, then, I do! I am a better Mother to all my children when I take some time for myself and by taking time for myself I am teaching them that they are important and they need to also take time for themselves.
I know we want to do everything for our children , but I think it is so important to teach them to do for themselves and to set an example. I like to meditate, meet up with a friend for dinner once a week, and take an occasional yoga class. This is how I am trying to teach my children to love themselves.
Another point I would love to leave you with, we mom’s are going to make mistakes, we are going to lose our temper, etc.. What is important is how we recover and repair with our children. Do we say, well you did this which caused me to yell and scream, or do we say, I was out of line and acting inappropriately, let’s discuss. The later teaches our children to own their behaviors and how to recover from a disagreement, and most importantly, it teaches them that we all mistakes and that is okay, its most important to own our mistakes and to make them right.
This Mother’s Day I want to honor all you Mother’s Day out there! It truly is the most difficult yet rewarding of jobs! We are new mom’s, school age mom’s, empty nest moms, unfortunately, some of us our grieving mom’s, Pet mom’s, and so much more! Our jobs are very important! I hope that you feel honored today and take some time to relax and feel special!
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